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cherry picker

by Heddy Edwards

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about

I was struggling with undiagnosed mental health issues when I wrote this song, which is a letter to my happier self, the “cherry picker,” whom I felt abandoned me while I was at my lowest. I wanted desperately to get my sunny disposition back. I’ve since started therapy and gotten a few diagnoses, and I've realized that happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive—I am both a happy and sad person, and feeling both emotions so deeply has led me to become the person and artist I am. I hope this song helps others to take charge of their mental health and realize that it makes you stronger to ask for help.

lyrics

[verse 1]
cherry picker
would you believe me
or do my eyes deceive me

I’m don’t know what went wrong but
I’d tell you if I could

you held the door
you let me in
and now I’m stuck

[verse 2]
cherry picker
what are you good for
you can’t tell me what to live for

these nights I’d thrive and die by
you’re here but I still can’t
see past the knife

you held my hand
but then you left

[pre-chorus]
you changed my mind
you, in the nick of time

[chorus]
I would pack my bags and drive down I-95
tell you I love you just one more time
when I’m feeling fine

[verse 3]
cherry picker
could you receive me
arms wide, bursting july red

I’ve had some trouble here
learning how to bury the dead

I kicked the dirt
I dug the graves
then the world caved

[verse 4]
cherry picker
are you deep inside?
from this darkness I can’t hide

I followed all the rules
still this feeling I can’t fight

I want to scream
I want to run
I want to feel that summer sun

[chorus]
cause you didn’t hear me when I called out your name
what am I supposed to do with all this shame
will I ever be the same

cause we made a promise, our fingers we crossed them tight
you stood right next to me, my comrade every fight
now I’m grasping for your light

[bridge]
I didn’t tell you all these things I hold on to
I think of you and everything it fades in view
cause you plucked me from the sky
when you breathed it gave me life
now I don’t know what’s right
when just being alive
means sacrifice

[verse 1]
cherry picker
would you believe me
or do my eyes deceive me

I don’t know what went wrong but
I’d tell you if I could

you held the door
you let me in
now I'm stuck

credits

released February 4, 2022
written & produced by: heddy edwards
mixed by: trevor hoffort (cloverland sound)
mastered by: raelynn janicke (infrasonic sound)

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all rights reserved

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about

Heddy Edwards Arlington, Virginia

Heddy Edwards is an independent singer-songwriter and producer, fusing saccharine vocals that recall acts like Mazzy Star and The Sundays with the rare rock-poet prowess of icons like Stevie Nicks and Pat Benatar. Her music lives at the axis of shimmering dream pop guitars, 80s synths, and the emotional honesty of 90s pop-rock. ... more

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